i know enough to know that i don't know enough

Today I went down to the RYSE Youth Center in downtown Richmond, CA, just a couple of miles from where I live.

I had been wanting to stop in there because of the impact of a film I saw last year called, "Romeo is Bleeding", centered around a theatrical re-enactment of Romeo and Juliet, but set in modern-day Richmond.

I have lived in Richmond for just over 4 years, and before that more places in the Bay Area than I can count.  Before moving here I didn't really know much about this town, other than that it had a history of gang violence, was the "home" of Chevron, and that the place I found was gonna be a lot safer than the part of Oakland I had been living in prior.

The central figure and co-writer of "Romeo is Bleeding" is a young man named Donte Clark.  Donte's story and his poetry has really had a profound affect on me.  His writing is like nothing I have ever heard before.  He is living the reality while telling it through rhyme and I was very effected by his skills.  Today, I got to meet Donte and shake his hand and it was my honor to do so.  Since the release of the film, he has been named the Poet Laureate of Richmond, and is developing further projects.

The history of gang violence I learned showed me so much about what I don't understand about the world.  It showed me that the histories here in Richmond are deeply personal and have a family legacy that goes back decades.  It showed me so much about how my day to day struggles and challenges are seriously completely inconsequential considering the fear some people face on a day to day basis just to walk to the store or get in and out of their houses.  

The thing is -- sure -- it's not my "fault" that these realities exist.  I only recently moved into this area and started calling it my home.  There is a rather large boulder in my yard that I believe to have held sacred energies for people for many, many, many years before I ever knew of this hillside!

I love getting on my bike and riding out to the bay, to Point Richmond, along the greenway, out San Pablo Dam Road and into the hills.  It's amazing to be able to walk outside my house and wind up over at Wild Cat Canyon, a massive open space preserve that connects to an even bigger open space preserve.

But that's just it:  my experience of this place is one of a total white-priveleged outsider.  I am not directly affected by the realities of this gang violence in any way.  I was able to take over the lease of a pretty great house and property, and since then my view of the entire SF Bay Area has changed dramatically as a result of the expansive vista!

This right here is of such importance for me and others to begin to understand:  being blissfully ignorant of the histories of violence and racial inequity in my community is what white privilege looks like!  And because it doesn't affect me directly, it is super easy to ignore it.

As a white woman, I could just continue along as I was, going to Target and to Kaiser and to see my accountant at Macdonald and 27th.  Up until watching the film, I had absolutely ZERO context for what was happening in the neighborhoods I drive through.

I had no idea how dangerous it is for people of one part of Richmond to be seen in another part of Richmond -- parts of the area that I myself pass through with only the mildest of concerns that someone might notice how nice my bike is......

So the fact that this newby white girl from Kansas suddenly learned the history of the place where she lives is hardly interesting.  Who cares?

That there are alternatives to violence being presented to at-risk youth -- that matters.  That there are people organizing around the arts to express the pain and suffering that gun violence means to their bodies, to their minds, to their spirits, to their hopes and dreams -- that really matters.

The RYSE center is a place like many other community youth centers:  it is a safe place with cool programs to keep kids off the streets and nurture their talents and visions, and I have already learned so much from one of their rising stars.

One of the directors of RYSE took my card and told me that they often times have "Self-care Sessions", where kids are taught different ways to manage stress and trauma.  I am hoping to talk with him and see what of my skills might be of service!

Offering time down at RYSE Center will hopefully give me an opportunity to give back to my community and to get to know some of the amazing people who call Richmond home.